Whole Foods Just Launched In-Store Tattoo Parlors (PS It’s April Fools' Day)

By Frazer Jones
The first rule of April 1: always keep your guard up and your eyes peeled for suspicious announcements. We found our most suspicious announcement by far...

The first rule of April 1: always keep your guard up and your eyes peeled for suspicious announcements. We found our most suspicious announcement by far while scrolling through our Instagram feed—Whole Foods Market announcing the introduction of Whole Ink tattoo parlors located directly in select Whole Foods stores.

Of course the tattoos aren’t just any run of the mill conventionally-grown tattoos—“we believe that what goes under your skin is as important as what goes into your body,” reads the press release issued on the Whole Foods Market website. With this commitment in mind, Whole Foods promises top quality tattoo inks made from “responsibly curated squid,” as well as ink processed from “vegan-friendly cold-pressed beet and kale” for customers who don’t partake of even the ink from any creature with a face.

Whole Foods announced that stores are currently in the process of training their best sign makers and chalkboard artists in the art of tattoo work to prep them for this new feature, and even procured a quote from the chain’s lead tattoo consultant on the inspiration for this new endeavor:

“Whole Foods Market Team Members and customers have always impressed us with their beautiful tattoos. It seemed only natural to offer something back to the body art community,” says Razi P. Berry, tattoo consultant.

 

But that’s not all! The front page of the Whole Foods Market website is a veritable smorgasbord of new releases today, including:

Whole Foods Market knows its crunchy grass-fed free-range organic reputation, and it’s pretty excellent that the brand can poke a little good-natured fun at itself with some ridiculous premises for April Fools' Day. Then we remember that time that Whole Foods started selling vinyl records at its more metropolitan locations, and that was definitely not an April Fools' Day prank, and suddenly in-store hipster tattoo parlors don’t seem quite as far off. Perhaps today’s prank is tomorrow’s feature?

 

Share

Featured Articles

Careers Passport: flagship programme to help jobseekers

A fast-track job scheme designed to remove barriers to enter the food and drink industry has seen over 1,000 training opportunities created.

Coca-Cola, Diginex & Reckitt tech to support supply chains

Respect for human rights is critical to good business, says Coca-Cola’s Paul Lalli, as the company joins diginexLUMEN to catch supply chain forced labour

Luxury food manufacturer Venchi on sustainable packaging

Cècile Osti, of luxury chocolate manufacturer Venchi, on Easter 2022, Sorrento lemons, sustainable packaging, natural ingredients & the pleasure of food

How has the pandemic affected sales at General Mills?

Food

Morrisons partners with Nestle in sustainability scheme

Retail

PepsiCo Launches pep+ a Strategic End-to-End Transformation

Drink